The Comparison Spiral
You know that feeling when you see a picture online on Instagram and you get that drop in your stomach.
“They have a better life than me.”
The shame swells over you like a wave. “I should have had it put together by now.”
Then the envy comes up. “Why do they get such a great life and I get THIS?"
Then you decide to go to look up all the things you think will make your life easier and better: I need a new job, how to get that beach body, how to meet the love of your life.
And that is what happens when you compare yourself with something you see on Instagram.
It puts you in a spiral of feelings you don’t know how to deal with, and actions you're unaware you are doing.
Until an hour later when you snap out of the comparison despair. You look up and don’t know what you were doing before this causing you to be more unfocused and unsure what you’re striving for and really want in your life.
The reason you lose that hour in the comparison spiral is you don’t know how to manage your emotions around what you see online. You can remind yourself that it’s not real life and to not compare. But until you learn how to understand and manage your feelings, you won’t know how to prevent the spiral in the first place.
When you go on a tirade of searching for how to get that life you see and want and compare yourself to, you aren’t even aware of what you want or where you’re going.
Imagine having the self-trust that comes when you see a photo and DON’T compare yourself.
You have so much more focus, you stay in your lane, you work on your art, your business, or creative projects. You focus on the people you’re around and really talk to them.
When you compare yourself, you may not be aware that you don’t know what you want. And when you see things online, you assume maybe I want that, which puts you into the comparison spiral because you don't have what you see.
But first, you have to get clear on IF you really want that thing you see online OR if you are getting swept up in social media comparison and you really want something completely different for yourself.
If you don't know what you want, answer these questions:
What would you really want for yourself? And make this decision for yourself. Not based on what other people post online. Not based on celebrities lives. Not based on what anyone else wants for you. Not based on anything you see online.
What would you do? Who would you be?
Close your eyes and really think about it.
Have you decided for yourself?
If you still don't know who you would be and want some direction to get there, I can help. Just by talking for a little bit, you can get clear on what you really want for yourself, separate of what you see online.
Let's talk and start transforming your life to who you want to be.